My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1972 - 1766: Pain and Sorrow

People often lose what is most important to them inadvertently. Sometimes, I wish I could be more ruthless.

As for Old Master Zhang, his heart is truly in pain. He knows deep down what kind of warmth his grandson desires in a family, yet he feels powerless. He understands that all of this could be resolved with the simplest action, but why is it so difficult for his family? Why? Is it purely because they are a wealthy family? All the wealth they have today was earned through his own hard work, without anything illegal. Why, then, is their family happiness shattered over and over again? This imbalance is unbearable for him. He is not someone who would give up his dignity just for appearances. Time and again, he has compromised his principles and made exceptions for others, but why do they continue to hurt him like this? Is this harm justified?

Zhang Yichen understands his grandfather’s thoughts very well. He knows that his grandfather is deeply troubled, yet as a grandson, he is powerless. He can only watch as his family suffers repeatedly due to these issues, standing silently beside them, unable to help. This is a severe sense of defeat. For someone successful, this defeat is a crushing blow. His life had always been smooth sailing, so why must he suddenly face such trials? Does he really not deserve happiness?

Both of them have their own thoughts, but when standing together, they choose to remain silent. Deep inside, they both know that some words are better left unsaid, as saying them could make returning to the way things once were impossible. No one wishes for such outcomes in their own life. They are not Saints; they too need the warm harbor of family. But why is heaven so unfair, harming their family over and over, shattering the happiness they deserve? It is a blow that is hard for anyone to accept.

They both choose never to voice these thoughts. Once spoken, everything changes, and everyone feels awkward and hurt. Even though they are the closest of relatives, they repeatedly avoid coming back to each other’s sides, hurting one another time and again. This is a fact no one can accept. They do not want this harm—it stays buried in their hearts, impossible to erase.

"Grandpa, why do you think my parents are never willing to come back to me, to care for me, their own child? In their hearts, am I really not worth their attention, not even once? Even just once, as an exception? But why are they always so cold and heartless?

Someday, I really want to understand why I fail to earn my parents’ love. Abandoning me once or twice could be forgiven, but why do they abandon me constantly throughout my life? Am I genuinely so undeserving of their love?

Throughout these years, I haven’t received any love or care from my parents. I’ve grown accustomed to it, but deep inside, how can I feel balanced? Watching other children showered with love by their parents, while mine avoid me, makes it impossible for me to be happy. Time and again, I ask myself, if my parents truly don’t love me, why bring me into this world? Was it merely to carry on the family name, just fulfilling an obligation?

Grandpa, the pain within my heart is one no one can understand. It is a torment rooted in my soul, caused by my parents’ abandonment—an enormous, unhealable wound. It is an unchangeable reality within me, even though I understand that the past is the past. Dwelling on it is meaningless, yet I cannot let it go. It’s a nightmare ingrained in my soul, impossible to release at will.

Sometimes, I wish time could rewind, to return to the beginning. How happy I would be if that were possible. If my parents had shown me more love, I would spend my life grateful to them. But they never gave me what I longed for, always imposing unwanted things onto me. From a young age, I understood the principle of not imposing onto others what I don’t desire. So why don’t my parents understand? Why do they repeatedly do things that hurt me? I truly don’t understand. Am I not their biological child?"

Old Master Zhang was pained upon hearing his grandson’s words. He knows these are the demons within Yichen’s heart. Without overcoming this shadow, no matter how much he does, how hard he tries, it will be in vain. Yichen must go through this, comprehend it on his own to truly grow.

"Child, never dwell on things that make you unhappy. Regardless of how your parents treat you, they are still your parents. No matter how much they hurt you, you must be grateful to them. Without them, you wouldn’t be here, and no matter your life’s impact on them, it was their gift of life that brought you to this peak. Your life’s peak might be unattainable for many, who struggle to break into the upper echelons of society. Being born into a wealthy family far surpasses many. Never dwell on these concerns. As long as gratitude remains, no matter the distance your parents put between you and them, reunion is inevitable. Grandpa knows this harm is hard to forget, but there’s no choice..."

How I wish this was just a dream, a dispensable dream, but why does it feel so painfully real?