enjoyebooks Chapter 20
Chapter 20
KAEL'S POV
The moment I stepped into the dimly lit bar, her scent caught me—jasmine and whiskey, an intoxicating combination that led me straight to her.
Celestina sat at the counter, her elegant posture betraying her royal upbringing even as she tried to disappear among common folk. My heart clenched at the sight of her vulnerability, so raw and unguarded.
Ever since Dimitri's death, she had become a shadow of herself.
"Celestina," I said, approaching carefully.
She turned, those hazel eyes, slightly glassy but burning with defiance locking onto mine. "What are you doing here, Kael?"
"I could ask you the same thing," I replied, keeping my voice steady despite the concern racing through me. "You shouldn't be here."
"Why not?" she challenged, tipping back another drink. "Am I not allowed to forget for a while? To not feel?"
I claimed the stool beside her, close enough to protect but not to crowd. Every instinct screamed to whisk her away from this place, but I knew better than to manhandle a woman who'd had her agency stripped away too many times.
"You don't need this, Celestina. Let's go back to the palace."
"No," she snapped, fire flashing in her eyes. "I'm not going back. I'm tired of everyone looking at me like I'm broken. Like I'm some fragile thing that's going to shatter at any moment."
I recognized that look—the desperate need to escape, to feel something other than pain. God knows I'd worn it myself in the darkest days after I'd lost her. I ordered water for myself, settling in for a long night.
President Alvada himself had called me to ask if Celestina was with me. Then he told me how she always came home drunk these days and I figured she could be at a bar somewhere around.
“You shouldn't be drinking, Celestina. What about the baby? You have to think about the safety of your baby first before…”
A mockery laughter left her mouth. “Baby? What baby?”
Tears swelled up in her eyes.
“There's no baby anymore, Kael. I lost the baby!”
“What?!” I exclaim in shock.
That was all that remained of Dimitri and she had lost it too. Now I felt her pain. The anguish of losing someone she was beginning to trust after me and then now, she had lost his baby too.
Her baby.
I didn't say a word as I let her drink to her satisfaction. Slowly, her inhibitions dissolved, she leaned closer, her breath warm against my neck. "Do you think I'm broken, Kael?" she whispered, her voice laced with bitterness that cut straight to my core.
"No," I answered truthfully. "I think you're grieving. And that's okay."
She laughed—a hollow sound that bore no resemblance to the melody I remembered. "Grieving," she echoed. "Is that what you call this?"
Before I could respond, she moved closer, her hand landing on my chest. My heart thundered beneath her palm, betraying me. "Maybe I don't want to grieve anymore," she murmured. "Maybe I just want to feel something—anything—again."
My jaw tightened as I willed my body not to respond. This wasn't her—not really. This was pain seeking oblivion. "Celestina," I said carefully, "you're drunk."
"So?" she challenged, her lips now dangerously close to mine. "I know what I'm doing."
God help me, I wanted to surrender. Her lips—those lips I'd dreamed about for years—were inches from mine. But instead, I gently grasped her wrist, stopping her advance.
"No," I said, the word tearing from my throat. "Not like this, Celestina. You're hurting. This isn't what you need."
Surprise flashed across her face, quickly replaced by anger. "What do you know about what I need?" she snapped. "You don't know anything about me!"
"I know enough to see that you're trying to numb the pain," I replied, keeping my voice level despite the storm raging inside me. "And I won't take advantage of that."
Tears welled in her eyes, and each one felt like a dagger to my heart. "You're such a hypocrite," she spat. "You say you've changed, that you care about me, but when I need you—"
"You don't need this," I interrupted, my voice rising slightly. "You don't need me like this. You need time to heal, to find yourself again."
She shoved me away, her tears finally spilling over. "I don't need your pity, Kael."
"It's not pity," I confessed, the truth escaping before I could stop it. "It's love."
The word hung between us, heavy with history and regret. Her expression shifted, disbelief and anger warring in her eyes.
"Love?" she repeated, her voice breaking. "Don't you dare say that to me now."
"I mean it," I insisted, my heart in my words. "But I won't let you use me to escape your pain. You're better than that, Celestina."
She stared at me in surprise for a moment and then jumped down from her seat. I was quick to catch her into my arms.
We stared at each other for a moment. She was heaving with rage and I was calm. Before I could say a word, she slammed her lips on mine.