enjoyebooks Chapter 19
Chapter 19
KAEL’S POV
The weight of my funeral suit felt suffocating as I stood outside Celestina's chambers, my heart hammering against my ribs.
I'd rehearsed what to say a dozen times on the way here, but now that the moment had arrived, the words seemed hollow, inadequate. How could any words possibly mend what I had broken?
"She'll see you now," the guard announced, opening the door.
I stepped into the room, my eyes immediately finding Celestina. Even in mourning, she was breathtaking, her grief lending her an ethereal quality, like a statue carved from alabaster. Her eyes, once so vibrant, now held shadows that pierced me with guilt.
"Celestina," I said softly, fighting to keep my voice steady.
She rose with the grace of a queen, her hands clasped before her. "Kael."
Just hearing my name on her lips again sent a pang through my chest. How long had it been since we'd spoken without anger between us?
"I'm sorry," I began, meeting her gaze and forcing myself not to look away. "For everything. For Dimitri. For what I said at the reception. I didn't... I didn't mean to hurt you."
The words felt pathetically inadequate. Her new husband was dead, just few days after their wedding.
Her expression softened slightly, though pain still radiated from her in waves. "Thank you.”
My throat tightened, emotion threatening to choke me. "He was a good man. Better than most of us deserved." Better than I deserved, I wanted to add, but couldn't bring myself to say it aloud.
Silence fell between us, heavy with unspoken regrets. I had been a fool, blind to the treasure I had once held in my hands until it was gone. Now I stood before her, heart in my hands, with nothing to offer but belated remorse.
"I didn't know what to say at the funeral," I admitted finally. "Seeing you there, so broken, it... it reminded me of everything I did wrong. I don't have the right to ask for your forgiveness, but I hope you know I'm truly sorry."
Celestina studied me, her gaze penetrating as if she could see straight through to my soul. "You're right. You don't have the right to ask for forgiveness. But I can't hold onto hate forever, Kael. It's exhausting."
A flicker of hope kindled in my chest, though I knew better than to expect too much. "I'll take whatever peace you can offer."
She sighed, gesturing for me to sit. "You've offered your condolences. Let's leave it at that."
I hesitated but nodded, taking the seat across from her. The space between us felt vast, unbridgeable. I wanted to cross it, to take her hands in mine, to somehow make her understand that I would spend the rest of my life making amends if she would let me.
"For what it's worth, Celestina," I said softly, "Dimitri would have wanted you to keep shining. Don't let this grief dim your light."
Her lips pressed into a thin line, her fingers tightening around the arm of her chair. "I'm trying," she whispered.
The vulnerability in her voice nearly broke me. I rose, sensing I had overstayed my welcome.
"I know I can't replace what you've lost," I said, softening my voice. "But I want to be here for you—however you need."
She turned to face me, her expression guarded. "What is it, Kael? Another attempt to convince me you've changed?"
I hesitated, searching her face for any sign of softening. "I just want to help you. I know I've made mistakes—more than I can count, but I want to be here for you now."
Celestina laughed bitterly, a sound that cut through me like winter wind. To my surprise, her hand rested lightly on her stomach in a protective gesture I recognized immediately.
"You want to be here for me now? After years of neglect and indifference?" The pain in her voice was palpable, a living thing between us.
"I was blind," I said earnestly, stepping closer, desperate to bridge the gap between us. "But I see clearly now. I see you, Celestina. And I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you'll let me."
She shook her head, her emotions visible in the trembling of her lips. "It's too late, Kael. My life has changed. I've changed."
"What do you mean?" I asked, my brow furrowing in confusion.
Celestina hesitated, then took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. "I'm pregnant," she said, her voice steady despite the vulnerability in her eyes.
The world seemed to stop spinning. "Pregnant?" I repeated, the word feeling foreign on my tongue.
"Yes," she confirmed, her hand tightening on the back of the chair. "With Dimitri's child."